Krucoff vs. Steele: blog on blog violence

2004-05-31T21:22:00.000-04:00

The youthful, Manhattan-dwelling Kaped Krusader demonstrates the paradoxical coexistence of loathing and lust so common between nemeses in his YPR interview:

Y.P.R.: We're not sure we buy that answer. By your defintion, all interviews are, technically, interviews with interviewers, and then we just lost our hook. Oh, well, moving on--C’mon spill it: Who was your best interview? Your worst?

A.K.: I’m a sucker for multimedia. Daniel Gregory sent in drawings and Paul Ford offered his best NPR voice on an Mp3 file. As far as the worst, definitely Lockhart Steele. He was the first one out of the gate and he did a magnificent job of setting the bar as low as possible. I still stub my toe on it sometimes.

And then, mere questions later:

Y.P.R.: Can you kick Lockhart Steele’s ass?

A.K.: Sure but I prefer to give it a solid man-pounding.

When the AK unloads, will Glockhart return fire, or will he turn the other "cheek" to the Other Page?

2004-05-29T10:37:00.000-04:00

What does Krumaster think of Steele Pulse's new endeavor as a real-estate gossip columnist?

preach people, preach! yes, lockhart steele may be the whitest person alive. to see him dance would harken back to an era of america no one wants to remember.

but seriously, for most new yorkers (native or not) real estate was interesting to talk about for the first couple years of living here. after that it's a sign of where good conversations go to die.

The TMFTML comment section is quickly challenging that of TOTC for relevant barb-harvesting. Perhaps a "TMFTML vs. TOTC Comments: Acronyms Attack!" blog is in order?

2004-05-27T12:58:00.000-04:00

Reacting to a slobbering profile on the Man of Steele in the Villager, Herschel Krucoffsky opines:

has anyone embraced being a "blogger" more than lockhart steele? that's pretty scary stuff. oh, and HE has already been profiled in the resident, the print version not online. oddly the reporter contacted me as the lone voice againt him yet she didn't use any of my quotes. i know, quite shocking.

Hell hath no envy like a blogger spurned...

2004-05-17T16:11:00.000-04:00

When is a retreat not really a retreat? When is a concession really an attack? When "Sun-Tzucoff" is in action, that's when.

I tip my hat, offer some advice about lubricants, and officially recognize Lockhart Steele as King (or Queen) of the Bloggers. Wear that tiara proudly, man.

At first we saw the brief life of this blog flash before our eyes, which then parsed it for valid markup and converted into an atom feed, as Kru-gawk feigned surrender, but soon understanding spread like the crows feet on his leathery aging face. The sar-chasm is deep and wide, as we're sure the Steeley one can attest.

2004-05-05T17:56:00.000-04:00

Be Steele my beating Hart! Preferred battleground TOTC heated up today upon news that a certain LES blogger had to abandon his gilded chariots - but not who you might think!

More fallout from the much-bandied-about taxi fare hike: Now Andrew Krucoff must ride the subway to work like a normal human being. Krucoff has been playing the "common man" angle to Lockhart Steele's prissy socialite in their highly-publicized feud, so the revelation that he has been riding a golden rocket to work every morning (to the Upper East Side, no less) has totally turned this war totally upside down. Brain fuck!

Indeed! And Steele Magnolia himself wasted no time in getting his Kruc-on in the comments:

AK-47? A hypocrite? Who woulda thunk it!

But faster than you can say "trailing preposition" (a mere 22 minutes in fact), I-am-not-a-Kruc retaliates:

i do believe it's mr steele who hip-flops on most issues depending on the audience he is talking to. it is unfortunate i work in an UES hospital, but i cant help that i dont have some cool downtown job.

The "it's not me - it's my job!" defense. Good thing A. Crew works at a hospital - he leaves us in stitches every time.

2004-05-01T13:40:00.000-04:00

A lunge from Andrew (W.)K.: TOP's latest post invokes an interesting Turn Of Phrase:

Everyone stop, this is silly. "There goes the neighborhood" has been thrown around this island since it was bought for 60 guilders worth of Dutch crap. The most obnoxious voices in debates of "sooooul-ruuuuining arrrrrchitecture" and displacement of mom-and-pop stores are almost always the so-called "activists" with no sense of history other than their own. NYC (and its future) is (and will always be) based on the concept of growth and change. It's an endless loop of development, construction and protest where the only differences are the people with short-term memories.

Hmm... there's an allusion in there somewhere. Oh yes: where have we heard "soul-ruining architecture" before?

Looks like the Kutting Kru wants the Hart-Lock Cafe to die in his arms tonight. It must have been something he said.

Might we see a swift riPOSTe?

2004-04-29T23:21:00.000-04:00

Is all quiet on the Lower-Eastern Front?

It would seem so. But perhaps the Alloyed powers are baiting Krusolini, laying low and preparing to launch a major Croffensive. Time will tell.

2004-04-28T22:01:00.000-04:00

It would be this generation's Lillian Hellman/Mary McCarthy feud if, you know, anyone gave a shit.

-TMFTML on the anti-Steele Krusade.

2004-04-28T16:52:00.000-04:00

Intel from the annals: it appears this is not the first time Steeling Beauty has drawn the ire of a sovereign blog. Direct your attention to Resolution 1454. Will the judge, jury, and exe-Kru-tioner become a one-man tribunal and finally bring Law-khart to justice for crimes against the blogsphere? Or will the Whiz Kid follow Presence precedent and discover that might makes right, failing as JVG did before him?

2004-04-28T15:09:00.000-04:00

Steele the Lockharted issues a double-whammy rejoinder in an all out rumble for TOTC comment supremacy!

I have it on reasonable authority that Lindsay's not Motor City enough for Coachella.

And mere seconds later...

Also, fuck Krucoff for pulling me into his world of rabid commenting. YOU'LL LIVE TO REGRET THIS, PUNK!

His diversionary motives are admirable, but Blue(blood) Steele runs the risk of burning the critical bridge over the river lindsaY!

2004-04-28T14:44:00.000-04:00

Looks like the kruc-offer of an olive branch has been, shall we say, snapped, lock, stock, and barrel!

I believe Lindsay will be at Cockroachella this weekend (you're not going? i guess Phish or DMB aren't on the list...) so saturday would in fact, suck. Of course, feel free to slip yourself some roofies to make the sacrificial leap through the Surface Hotel windows.

2004-04-28T14:03:00.000-04:00

Lockhart appears to offer reconciliation... genuine armistice or Trojan horse?

Welcome to the LES party for Lindsay, this Saturday on my roof. Just no one tell her about it, okay?

See, Krucoff, I don't think all your ideas suck.

2004-04-28T09:50:00.000-04:00

Krucoff, under the guise of giving tender-harted advice to a kru-comer, continues his offensive on TOTC's white-hot comment forum:

Jessica, one can't expect to comprehend or appreciate the milieu of the LES after just one bathroom-inspired weekend here. You'll be an LESxpert by the 2nd trip, but let me break it down for you in advance with simple terms: Krucoff - Good, Lockhart - Bad.

2004-04-27T22:09:00.000-04:00

Lockhart Steele has indeed been a frequent target of mine when discussing Lower East Side development. His name alone is offensive to the immigrants who suffered through this neighborhood's harshest times. My problem with Steele comes from his sense of entitlement. Here's a privileged kid, the product of Northeast boarding schools and an Ivy League education, who arrives to NYC and moves to an "edgy" part of town that he insists on turning into Lower East Hampton. How he became an authority on the area is a mystery to me. His fascination with skin-a-re/max porn and too-haute-for-EV cuisine are the insult and bitchslap to the face of this neighborhood.

With this opening salvo began a feud that would tear Rivington street asunder. Fought in the urban trenches of blog-comment back-alleys, a new kind of warfare has emerged.

Watch as converted tenements and vegan eateries become lowly pawns in a rhetorical chess-match of redevelopmental proportions. How many hipsters will become ironically-dressed collateral damage before these two power-bloggers annihilate each other in a ego-mad navel-gazing maelstrom of ad hominem put-downs with vaguely homo-erotic undertones?

When will the fury cease? Will Lock Emerge Supreme, or will he fall victim to the AK-151?

Check back here for all the latest K vs. S info, and may Ian Schrager have mercy on us all.